This is kind of a novel of a post, I didn't realize how long it was when I wrote it. Sorry!
This is where Sadie sleeps, yep in her swing.We don't turn it on, it has never helped her fall asleep but she liked it more than the bassinet so we've just kept her there.
Oh sleep, I have always loved sleep. Lately Sadie has been sleeping horribly! Whenever she took a nap it would be for 30-45 minutes. She was not always this way. She used to do really really good. Her naps were never great but everyday I got at least one long nap. The nap would last anywhere from 1-3 hours. As a new mom these were crucial! I used this time to eat, shower, or get a much needed nap! So when I started losing these long naps I was really disappointed but I just figured it was a phase or that she wasn't tired enough. Then a week later it started affecting her night time sleep also. Sadie's night time sleeping was going really good, it was gradually getting longer and longer. At about 7 weeks old she was sleeping 6-7 hours at night. This helped me catch up on sleep since I wasn't getting a nap anymore but this didn't last long. All of a sudden she started sleeping 2 and a half to 4 hours at night. Since this is my first child I have been basically winging it. I didn't really read a baby book. I have read a ton of articles online and I have a couple magazines but there is a lot of information left out. So I started investigating online. Here were my two mistakes: first I had no idea how long Sadie was supposed to be awake for. I had read that it is about an hour but I didn't know when that would start to stretch out. I kinda felt like maybe I was putting her to sleep too often bc she was waking up so much. I also read somewhere that she should have 2-3 naps. So essentially I was keeping her awake for about 2 hours before I would try and put her down. My second mistake was that I was feeding Sadie way too often. I was using this as a way to pacify her. Which she needed because she was so tired. I would nurse her every two hours or shorter. That's a lot and I could tell sometimes she wasn't really eating. I didn't know. In the beginning I was feeding her a mix between this and every 3 hours, which is probably why her sleeping was doing so good. But once her naps went bad I changed to every two hours and things just went bad fast. It's amazing how everything is connected.
Well I bought a book. I decided I needed help and I investigated online what I could do to make this better. I found a blog that seemed to have a lot of answers. The lady is LDS and seems really passionate about her baby philosophy. And I loved that it wasn't just a bunch of how-to's but a philosophy. The book is called Babywise. From what I read online there is a lot of people who don't like this book but the Blogger really spoke to me so I just had to read the book for myself.
The book helped me realize what mistakes I was making. For mistake number 1 a babies waketime can be as little as 45 min. The book suggests finding the optimal wake time for your baby so I did this and Sadie's is an hour to an hour and 15 minutes. I figured this out because she would become really fussy and hard to put down after this time.
For mistake number 2 the book suggests nursing every 2 and a half to 3 hours and then between 9-15 weeks moving to every 3-4 hours. Sadie is 13 weeks old but since she's used to snacking little meals I've decided to transition slowly so I'm still at every 2 and a half to 3 hours. I know I was feeding her too much because she wasn't eating a full meal every time. If your an experienced mom I'm sure your just laughing at all of my inexperience.
Through all of this I am just really glad for the Internet. I was able to read a couple of other mom's experiences and really learn from them. I feel so dumb for being so ill prepared. I thought I knew the basics and that would be enough. I guess I thought I could stay the same and that Sadie would just mesh into my life but I'm starting to see that who I am is being redefined and that I need to be not just her Mom but a teacher, leader, and caregiver. I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure this out. Really there is a TON I don't know and I rather not try and figure it out all alone. It seems that magazine articles don't teach you a whole lot but books give a more in depth view into someones philosophy and reasoning for doing something. I think for now on I'm going to look at more of others experiences and read some more books so I can choose what parts of their philosophy I want to make my own.
1 comment:
I am so glad you are figuring something out that works for you! I agree that so much of parenthood is winging it, but it is also so nice to have a little guidance along the way. I was kind of anti reading baby books because they also swore by totally different methods so I didn't know which to go by, but after being in exactly your same situation around 7 or 8 weeks I read Baby Wise. I didn't end up following it to a T or anything, but I agreed with the principle of Eat, Play, Sleep and it turned everything around for us. I am a firm believer that the more babies sleep the better they will sleep because they're not overtired. Taking 4-5 naps a day seemed crazy to me, but it totally worked and that's when his night sleeping really turned around too and he went down to just one feeding a night. Obviously most of those naps were shorter but at least two were always substantial. The naps get fewer over time too, but until he dropped to 1 nap, there were always at least 2 solid 1 1/2-2 hours naps each day. I think Eli went down to three around 4 or 5 months, then 2 around 8 months, then 1 around 13 months. Obviously every kid is different though. I had a hard time with each nap transition though because you have to totally refigure your feeding schedules and stuff, but it works out. That was the one thing that confused me about Baby Wise. I felt like it made a lot of sense when they were in the Eat, Play, Sleep cycle but then I wasn't sure what to do when they started sleeping less.
Anyway, my comment is almost as long as your post, but I just wanted to say I totally feel for you and I really do agree with the baby wise theory. Having your kid know how to fall asleep without nursing/eating is the best gift you can give yourself. I think we ended up doing like 3-4 days of crying it out (which was hard but never lasted more than ten minutes or so) when he was 10 weeks old or so and he has literally never cried himself to sleep since (well, not NEVER, but never more than randomly here or there). We would lay him down and he'd just go to sleep or talk himself to sleep. There is nothing better than that in my opinion, and I think Baby Wise is key to that.
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